


Porch Christmas Lights

by ChillAssWheatBackPenny



Category: EXO, NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Daddy Issues, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mommy Issues, Power Play, Religious Conflict, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:01:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChillAssWheatBackPenny/pseuds/ChillAssWheatBackPenny
Summary: Junmyeon is somewhat safe. He works a simple job and in his spare time, he fixes up the house he bought with his cousin, Jongin. He’s never been in love with anyone- just the idea of them. He goes to church with Jongin and has fallen in love with the idea of the pastor’s niece, Irene.Junmyeon is also bored with the mundane safety of his life and as he navigates through his days, he begins stirring up the wrong kinds of excitement just to feel something and he is soon faced with realities that he never wanted to revisit.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To hear this story read aloud, check out Narrative with Kayla and Alley here: https://anchor.fm/narrativewithkaa
> 
> To submit your own fan fictions to be read or to submit someone else’s fan fiction, (with their permission, of course) go here: https://alstroemeriastudios.carrd.co/

Junmyeon didn’t like the idea of going to church that often but he went because his cousin Jongin was suddenly interested in attending Sunday morning services and Tuesday evening Bible studies. It didn’t make much sense but Junmyeon was supportive and if Jongin didn’t want to perish in the mighty hellfires of eternal damnation then he’d cheer him on. Did he like waking up early on Sundays to go and sit in a place that felt more like a detention center than a place of healing? No but the pastor’s niece, Irene, was easy on the eyes. She only ever smiled at Junmyeon and he didn’t want to blow it by asking her out. Her uncle, having a predominantly young flock of lost sheeplings, somehow squeezed premarital sex into every sermon and emphasized the dangers of unchaperoned dates. This particular sermon was the same. “I have a niece who decided that she wanted to move to Osaka for a job and it all went downhill from there! She got pregnant and had a miscarriage but that was God’s will. You don’t leave your parents’ house until you’re married. God won’t bless you in a Godless home and he won’t bless Godless babies forming in Godless bodies. When you put God first, God gives you his glory. When you put your own needs first, God will block each blessing until you put him first.”

Junmyeon almost believed it for a second. At twenty-six, he was living on his own and spent more time at his job than he did in the rundown house they bought for pennies. He missed it there. He missed his cat Creed and slowly turning the old house into a cozy home. The world wasn’t half as bad as everyone told him it was- it was even worst. “You ever notice he always has another niece? So far I’ve counted nineteen of them... he only has two brothers...” Jongin whispered. Junmyeon laughed and tried his best to stay awake. He couldn’t figure out Jongin’s sudden desire to go to church. “Jongin... are you sure you’re not an atheist anymore?” He asked quietly. “Sure.” The younger man replied, “My soul’s been... lifted to a higher plain.” Junmyeon knew he was full of shit but Jongin always exposed his true intentions in the end.

As the final prayer ended, Junmyeon didn’t have the strength to say the final “amen”. Instead, he cleared his throat and stood a few seconds before everyone else did. He was hungry and the only thing he looked forward to more than seeing Irene for a few minutes after church was going for McDonald’s after. Jongin always treated him as a thank you for being such a good older cousin. Just like Junmyeon, Jongin was an only child so growing up, they found that they felt better and did better navigating life as a team.

When Junmyeon moved to Staten Island, Jongin insisted on doing the same. It worked out in the end and they were able to afford the tiny two bedroom house in Randall Manor. The neighborhood was alright. Jongin liked the small lake across the street until their first summer there brought around the mosquitoes Junmyeon had warned him about. 

As they pulled out of the church parking lot, Junmyeon glanced over at Jongin, “Did you wanna stay for the church meal? We can go back if you want to.” He said. Jongin smirked, “I ate already.” He muttered as he checked his side view mirror before switching lanes. Junmyeon glared at him, “What the hell does that even mean?” “Nothing, man... I ate while I was helping set up the dining hall.” Jongin said smugly. Junmyeon knew something wasn’t right but he’d find out eventually. He always did. 

The McDonald’s drive-thru was fairly empty and Junmyeon decided to let Jongin treat him to two double cheeseburgers, fries, and a sprite. “I need a smoke.” Jongin sighed as they moved towards the pickup window. “Then smoke.” Junmyeon replied. He checked the bag for his fries, “They forgot my fries, Jongin, don’t pull off yet.” Jongin rolled his window back down and let the cold winte air pour back into the tiny car, “Hey, the fries aren’t here.” Jongin said and Junmyeon laughed as the young girl at the window apologized feverishly. “It’s okay. They don’t pay you enough to stress over it. ‘S’all good.” Was Jongin turning into one of _those_ American guys? The ones who smoke and never fully button their shirts? Yes he was. Back in Korea, he was reserved and kept mostly to himself but American air did him well. Junmyeon on the other hand, had developed more of a manipulation. Junmyeon had a habit of pushing his hair back. It was a habit he developed after his early enlistment when he kept touching his head in disbelief that he was actually nearly bald. Four years later, he still found his hands wandering up to his head to gently grasp at his soft black hair just to make sure it was still there. Women loved it and suddenly, what was once an insecure habit was now the cornerstone to his sex appeal and his secret weapon. He didn’t abuse his power though. He just used it to get extra barbecue sauce for his fries from time to time... and also to get an office by the window at his job.  


“Tell me not to go buy cigarettes.” Jongin said as they began their journey home. Junmyeon laughed as he watched a typical Staten Island road hog cut several people off just to get stuck at the red light anyway. “Don’t laugh at me- do you know how hard quitting is?” Jongin sighed. “Nobody told you to start smoking. That’s your fault.” Junmyeon shot back. He ate his fries as they drove on. Further down the strip, Jongin pulled in at a 7-11 and trotted inside. Sundays were always boring but Junmyeon looked forward to going home and working on the house. His goal for the week was to find some nice lights to accent the front porch and the backyard patio he had finished working on a few weeks prior.  Growing up in Korea, Junmyeon didn't have a nice little house like everyone else did. His parents didn't see much use in a house when the three of them were able to occupy their two-bedroom apartment comfortably. Now, he was slowly seeing the desires of his youth materialize from his own working hands and it was worth all the effort.

Lowe's, Home Depot, ACE, and every little ma and pop store the island had to offer wasn't giving him the look he needed. After setting up some patio lights from some little shop a few blocks up from Sheridan Avenue, Junmyeon stood at the farthest corner of the backyard and stared in disappointment. "These might as well be fucking floodlights." He mumbled. Jongin stepped out onto the deck with a cigarette hanging from his lips, "You didn't throw out the receipt, right?" He asked. Junmyeon marched over to lights and began taking them down, "I never do." He sighed. Jongin nodded, “Don’t forget, you have seven days to bring them all back.” “I’m gonna take them back tonight.” Junmyeon said, “It’s not seven yet, is it?” Jongin checked his watch, “You have about an hour til they close. Do you want me to drive you?” Junmyeon hated driving but he didn’t mind the alone time. “No, it’s alright. I’ll drive.” He ignored Jongin's gaze as he kept working then Jongin spoke up, "Get Christmas lights... for the patio _and_ the porch." He said and stepped back into the house before sliding the newly installed backdoor shut. "Fucking _Christmas lights-_ if I wanted the house to have fucking country boy vibes, I would've move to fucking _Texas._..” Junmyeon muttered as he quickly shoved the lights back in the box. Christmas lights were something he only saw in American films starring men who looked like they'd get their cousins pregnant. Junmyeon wanted the house to look like the picturesque homes he dreamt of as a child Christmas lights weren't going to get him there. He carried the boxes to the car and loaded them into the trunk before hopping in and taking off. The evening was cold and at five pm, the sun was already gone. He decided to take the scenic route to the store and got there in about twenty minutes.

Junmyeon parked in the front and hauled the boxes inside. There was a young kid at the register, “I know, I know, they’re floodlights.” He said. His voice was deeper than Junmyeon had anticipated. He read his name tag. “Jisung, these are-“ “Fucking terrible. I know. That’s what everyone says. My grandfather won’t stop selling them. I don’t know what to tell you. I’ll just give you back your money.” Junmyeon sat the boxes on the counter and fished the receipt out of his pocket while Jisung scanned each box. “You’ll be getting back two hundred flat. Sorry about the disappointment.” Jisung said as he moved the boxes to the back counter. “Yeah, it’s fine. The price was great so I’m kinda disappointed but it’s alright.” Junmyeon replied. “What exactly are you trying to do with your backyard? What’s the look you’re going for?” Jisung asked and leaned against the counter. His black hair fell into his eyes and he swept it back. “I don’t know... I just... I think I’ll know it when I see it.” Junmyeon said. Just then a boy about Jisung’s age came into the store. He glanced at the young boy then fumbled with a box of screws. “Jaemin, you’re not even being subtle anymore, get the fuck out.” Jisung said with a frustrated sigh, “I’m gonna count the boxes over there and I swear to God, if anything’s missing I’m calling the cops.” Jaemin pulled a box out of his hoodie pocket and smiled at Jisung, “You could just check me yourself.” Jisung picked up a hammer from behind the counter and tapped the counter with it, “I will hurt you.” He said. Jaemin nodded, “Sounds like fun. See you later.” He said and put the box back. He trotted out and Junmyeon stared at Jisung in confusion. “He’s a kleptomaniac... a hypersexual kleptomaniac. God is... awful sometimes.” Jisung said, “But yeah if you’re looking for a nice vibe for your house, get some Christmas lights. Plain white. It’s beautiful.” Junmyeon barely heard the last part, "Did you just... he's a-" "Hypersexual kleptomaniac. He steals shit and he's always horny. Yes, I know him. We go to the same school. Am I actually gonna call the police on him? No. He's going through enough." Jisung took off his apron, “I’m closing early so you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.” Junmyeon was still processing what Jisung had told him as he left the store.   
  


  
Junmyeon started down Victory Boulevard and made it back home. As he pulled into the driveway, he looked across the street at the lake and sighed. “Christmas lights.” He mumbled. He couldn’t get the hype and he was confused as to what Christmas tree decorations were going to do for him. He turned back to the house and glanced up at the living room window. A silhouette passed in front of  the window and Junmyeon noticed that it looked nothing like Jongin’s- it was a woman’s. Jongin had a guest over and there was no question about that.   
  


As Junmyeon unlocked the front door, Jongin passed the landing of the stairs, “Sister Irene’s here. Don’t embarrass me.” He said quickly and disappeared into the kitchen. Junmyeon followed him, “Why is she here?” He asked quietly. “You left your scarf at church so I decided to drop it off. I didn’t mean to surprise you. I asked Jongin to tell you I was here.” Irene said softly. “No, sister, it’s- well, I was just doing a lot of work on the house and it’s not too pretty yet.” Junmyeon said as he unconsciously ran his fingers through his hair. “I think it’s beautiful. You’re doing great. Don’t stress about what you haven’t done yet, Junmyeon, I know it’ll all come together in the end.” Irene said with an assuring smile. Junmyeon froze. She was almost too beautiful to look at. “Jongin was showing me the backyard, Junmyeon, and I really think you should go with some Christmas lights. It’s gonna really add a nice touch to the house. I put Christmas lights out on my balcony and it’s perfect.” Irene glanced out the window, “You two should come over some time.” “Really?” Jongin asked incredulously. “Of course! I’m not my uncle, you know. Just because my uncle’s homophobic doesn’t mean I am.” She said as made her way to the breakfast nook and took a seat. People often thought they were a couple and Junmyeon had gotten tired of correcting them. He shot a very confused expression at a very smug Jongin before heading towards the breakfast nook, “Sister-“ “You can just call me Irene. It’s not like saying my name is gonna send you to hell.” Irene said with a laugh. He exchanged glances with Jongin excused himself to his room. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Irene more but Junmyeon found that people were more interested in him before they got to know him and he didn’t want her to become another stranger to him after she realized he was just another pretty face without much going else on.


	2. Chapter 2

Tuesday night Bible study was going just as badly as Junmyeon had expected it to but he was looking forward to ramen after so he kept his mouth shut and suffered through it. Chanyeol, nobody’s favorite reverend, was explaining why only Mary could carry Jesus Christ in his quest to fulfill God’s perfect plan, “She was joined with Joseph in the sacred bond of marriage but she was still a Virgin and God used her knowing that she had been bonded but not tainted.” Irene, who never took notes, raised her hand as she spoke, “Reverend, if-“ “ _Pastor_ , Irene, _Pastor_." Chanyeol said peevishly. Irene chuckled dryly, “Pastor Lee isn’t dead yet, _Reverend._ Anyway, if marriage is a sacred bond between two people then-“ “Between a _man_ and a _woman_ , Irene.” Chanyeol sighed. “Stop talking over me.” Irene said as she stared Chanyeol down with a challenging glare. Chanyeol faked a smile and gestured for her to finish. “How could a married woman be tainted for having sex with her husband if marriage is so sacred?” She asked. Judging by the look on her face, she knew she wasn’t going to get a real answer. “That’s just the will of our God.” Chanyeol replied. “So if a woman is tainted for having sex even if she’s having sex with her husband, then doesn’t that mean her husband is tainted as well?” Irene fought back a smirk. Junmyeon found himself fighting back a smile as well. Chanyeol, who was always sweating for some unknown reason, wiped the sweat from his top lip and shook his head, “A woman cannot enter a man’s body, Irene, it isn't possible." “Actually, she could.” Junmyeon muttered. “Brother, I beg your pardon?” Chanyeol piped up. Kyungsoo, a church usher sitting in front of them, turned around to exchange looks with the two men, “I dare you to argue that point to him. Please, I’m bored.” He whispered. Junmyeon watched Jongin give Kyungsoo a look that he wasn’t too sure about. Kyungsoo smiled and turned back around. “Reverend, a woman actually could enter a man’s body. It’s not that hard, actually.” Jongin said with a false bashfulness that Junmyeon knew all too well. Irene couldn’t hold back her laughter and she pressed her hand over her mouth. “I don’t follow, brother.” Chanyeol said slowly. Jongin shrugged, “Well... women have fingers and different objects that they cou-“ “On second thought, let’s just close out with a prayer.” Chanyeol said quickly. Irene closed her eyes to pray but continued laughing. 

After the closing prayer, Junmyeon watched Jongin hang back to talk with Kyungsoo, “I’ll meet you at the car.” He said as he made his way into the church lobby. Wendy, a young woman Junmyeon saw from time to time smiled at him as he passed her and she reached out to grab his arm, “Hi, brother... Junmyeon, right?” She said softly. Junmyeon stared at her for a moment, “Hi... sister...” He trailed off. “Wendy... I’m Irene’s sister. She um... she told me- look I don’t really have anything to say but she just wanted me to say hi to you... so hi.” Wendy was very pretty. She got more attention than Irene because she didn’t attend church as frequently and many of the young men in the church wanted to say they were the ones to have her. Junmyeon noticed people staring as they passed the pair, “Oh... hi, Wendy.” He held his hand out for her to shake. Like, Irene, Wendy hardly ever smiled at any of the brothers in church but as she took his hand in hers, she smiled heartily and Junmyeon felt pretty damn special. “I’m really sorry. I- I’m not that good with names.” He said apologetically. “No, I understand. I don’t come here often anyway. It’s nice to see you.” Just then, Chanyeol stepped up almost too close to Wendy, “Praise the Lord, sister Wendy, how are you?” He said and rested a large hand on her shoulder. “Don’t touch me, Chanyeol.” Wendy said and harshly shoved his hand off of her. Chanyeol faked an offended sigh, “Wendy, you know my intentions aren’t-“ “I already know what your intentions are. Don’t touch me.” She said and took a step back before turning her attention back to Junmyeon, “Brother, Irene said that you and your cousin always go out for food after you guys leave here. Can I come too?” Junmyeon held Chanyeol’s blank gaze for a moment, “Yeah... sure. We’re actually going for ramen today.” He said then looked back to see where Jongin was. The younger man was still talking to Kyungsoo. Chanyeol was swept away by other church members with prayer requests and Junmyeon felt the tension disappear. “I don’t like him.” Wendy muttered. Junmyeon wasn’t exactly fond of talking about people so he just chewed his bottom lip and hoped that Wendy wouldn’t push the conversation anymore. She did, of course, “I know you don’t like him either. Nobody does but they’re a bunch of lost sheep. They don’t know any better.” Junmyeon still didn’t know what to say so he just nodded awkwardly. “It’s not considered badmouthing if it’s true.” She said curtly. “I just don’t get it... how did _he_ become a reverend?” He muttered more to himself. "God isn't the focal point of this church, Pastor Lee's ego is." Wendy said and rolled her eyes, “Walk me to the car. I don’t like it when people look at me.” She gave Junmyeon a gentle push in the direction of the exit. 

Outside, the cool winter air whipped against Junmyeon’s cheeks as he fished the car key out of his pocket and unlocked the doors. Wendy got into the backseat and rubbed her hands against her cheeks, “So... my sister tells me you’re fixing up your house... are you one of those uh... house flippers?” Junmyeon smiled, “No, the house was just too nicely priced for me to pass it up. It just needed a lot of care and nobody was really willing to fix it up. That was really the only way Jongin and I were able to afford it. The mortgage is gonna be paid off in probably another six years which is cool.” Wendy nodded, “You gonna sell it for something better?” She asked. “No, I couldn’t... I love it too much.” He replied. "So uh... You and Jongin...are you two gonna live together forever?" Wendy asked as she kicked off her white pumps and hoisted her waist up to pull down her black stockings. Junmyeon stared down at the Chevy logo in the center of the steering wheel and stayed perfectly still, "Oh no. Jongin won't stay content with this kind of life for long... He needs excitement... he won’t be content with a life like this for long.” "It's just stockings, ya know... You'd do the same." Wendy chuckled as she reached forward and shoved them into Junmyeon's coat pocket. Junmyeon felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment, "Wendy-" "Just give them back to me later. I didn't bring my purse today." Jongin and Kyungsoo finally came out and Junmyeon watched the two exchange a few words before Kyungsoo went to his own car. “Irene’s coming too.” Jongin said as he got into the back with Wendy, “Hi, beautiful.” He kissed Wendy's cheek and Junmyeon was surprised when she kissed him back. Junmyeon started the car and gripped the steering wheel. He looked in the rearview mirror and watched Irene trot to the car. She held onto her hat and as her hair whipped every which way, Junmyeon couldn't take his eyes off of her. "My sister has _another_ admirer." Wendy chuckled. Irene got in and looked over at Junmyeon, “I’m sitting up here because Jongin said you don’t talk to people that much and that we should go out on a date because you haven’t dated anyone since high school.” Junmyeon cringed as he drove out of the parking lot. “Irene, you weren’t supposed to tell him that. You were just supposed to date him. He’s cute, isn’t he?” Jongin sighed. “Of course he is.” Irene said casually. She couldn't have made it anymore obvious that looks didn't matter to her and Junmyeon was relieved but also scared. He knew his personality was alright but it certainly wasn't anything to write home to mama about. “I smell sexual tension.” Wendy said sarcastically. Jongin laughed and inched over to whisper something in Wendy’s ear. She smiled and her eyes met with Junmyeon’s in the rearview mirror, “Eyes on the road. God never shows me any favor. If we get in an accident, he wouldn’t be kind enough to kill me, he’d just paralyze me and maim my face. I can’t lose my good looks- that’s all I have.” Junmyeon couldn’t tell if Wendy was joking or not, “Um, Wendy...” He trailed off. “Yes. I’m deadly serious.” She replied. 

Somehow, Irene had talked Junmyeon into driving into Manhattan for chicken and soju and though he wasn’t much for drinking, Junmyeon was glad he had. “Junmyeon doesn’t like drinking too much because he doesn’t know how to shut up if he’s not sober.” Jongin said in what he thought was a whisper. Irene smiled, she wasn’t drinking nearly half as much as Wendy and Jongin had. She looked over at Junmyeon, “I’ll be your sober buddy.” Junmyeon smiled at her and glanced around the dimly lit bar. Wendy downed the rest of her drink and glanced across the table at Junmyeon, "You have a lot of issues... I can tell." The air suddenly got thick and Irene hit Wendy on the shoulder, "Mind your business." She scolded. Junmyeon excused himself and quickly made his way to the bathroom. He suddenly wanted to go home and finish painting the basement. It was his own personal therapy and it often was the only thing that helped him get back into a good headspace. He quickly used the bathroom and washed his hands before heading back to the table. Irene perked up, "Are you okay?" She asked and gave Junmyeon a gentle rub on his back as he sat down. Junmyeon nodded, "Yeah, I'm good." He replied and took a long drink from his bottle to distract himself from the warmth Irene was generating at the center of his spine. "His social battery is dying." Jongin said with a smile. Junmyeon nodded, "It's fine though... I don't mind." He glanced back over at Irene. If he was drunk, he definitely would’ve ruined the friendly rapport they’ve built over the past few months. She really was pretty and Junmyeon couldn’t help but picture himself being a her boyfriend. Knowing she was light years out of his league, Junmyeon didn’t entertain the idea for long. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder why she was suddenly making an effort to get to know him. 

“Who gets this drunk on a weekday?” Irene sighed as she helped Wendy into the back seat. Jongin made his way to the front seat and Junmyeon quickly stopped him, “No- in the back. We’re not doing that again.” He said and forced him into the backseat. “What are you talking about?” Irene asked as she got into the passenger seat. Junmyeon got in behind the wheel and started the car, “He pulled the steering wheel once and-“ “Oh shit did you guys die?” Wendy interjected, “What happened to you guys?” “No... we didn’t die. We got into a little fender bender but luckily the person we hit was really nice and let us go.” Junmyeon said with a laugh. “Thank God. I was gonna miss you guys.” Irene rolled her eyes and smiled, "As you can see, she gets pretty stupid when she's had too much to drink... at least she's keeping her clothes on this time." Jongin giggled, “This is a fun way to make new friends- I love you ladies.” Junmyeon sighed and shook his head. He had too many things to do and taking care of Jongin’s drunk ass wasn’t on the list. Irene reached over and patted his arm, “Yes... it’s gonna be a long day.” It was only just after eight in the evening and Junmyeon was tired from working earlier that day. “I know your social battery is probably dead right about now but if you want, we can go back to your place and I can look after them while you get some rest.” Irene said softly. Junmyeon found himself liking that idea and he smiled, “I would like that but are you sure? He’s a handful... just a lot to deal with and-“ “Wendy gets like this quite often. I’m more than capable of taking care of him too. I’m usually the sober friend anyway and my friend Taeyeon drinks more than the two of them combined.” She smiled at Junmyeon and Junmyeon almost hit a car as they exited the parking garage. “Careful.” She chuckled. 32nd Street was much less crowded as the calm of night slowed down the busy street. The city lights flowed across Irene’s face and Junmyeon promised himself he wouldn’t look at her until the car stopped.

When Junmyeon pulled into the driveway, Jongin groaned, “I don’t wanna go home- I wanna bar hop. There’s a whole ass pub across from those train tracks in Saint George. Can we go?” “We’re here for a nightcap.” Irene said as she got out of the car. Junmyeon followed suit. “When certain people get drunk they turn into oversized toddlers. Give these two some juice in wine glasses and put on Paw Patrol... they’ll chill out.” Irene said as she all but dragged Wendy’s limp body out of the car. Once inside, Junmyeon lead the way into the living room. Wendy and Jongin sat down on the sofa. “Cap our night’s with the nightcap, my good bitch.” Jongin mumbled. Junmyeon stated blankly at him before turning to Irene, “I have wine glasses in the top cabinet above the microwave, “I’ll get them something to change into.” Irene nodded and headed for the kitchen. Junmyeon turned on the television and turned to Cartoon Network. An Adventure Time marathon would have to do. “I can’t reach these- are you some kind of a comedian, Junmyeon?” Irene called out with a laugh. Junmyeon strolled into the kitchen and laughed, “I’m sorry.” He said as he watched Irene scoot off the counter, “We’re you gonna climb to get them?” “Don’t pick on me.” She said with a playful sigh. “I don’t mean any harm it’s just cute.” Junmyeon said then pursed his lips, “Forget I said that. I just made it worse.” Irene shrugged, “You didn’t... now get me the damn glasses.” Junmyeon reached up and took out four glasses, “I have wine if you want some. I hide it from Jongin because he loves drinking my wine but he’s not too crazy about replacing it.” Jongin came into the kitchen, "I'm hungry." He said and sat down on the counter. "You sat in public in those pants, get up." Junmyeon said as he marched over to Jongin to gently push him off the counter. "I'm hungry." Jongin repeated. "I'll order a pizza. Go back to the living room." Irene said softly. Junmeyon smiled, "You're good at this." He said. She nodded, "I am... now go rest. If you're gonna stay up then what'd you want me to stay for?" Junmyeon nodded, “Right... I do have work in the morning.” He gave Irene a smile and went upstairs to turn in for the night. He considered calling his mother but he knew he’d regret it like he always did so he checked his Instagram and fell asleep shortly after.


	3. Chapter 3

Junmyeon watched the rainwater on his window slowly freeze from the rainstorm that had passed through town during the dark hours of the early morning. The day felt too mundane to be a Friday and the dullness of the weather was enough to make him want to go back home and lay in bed. Stephanie, Junmyeon's boss, had come to tap on his desk, "Working hard or hardly working?" She chuckled as she leaned against the wall of his cubicle. "Hardly working... I should get started. I'm sorry." He replied. Junmyeon knew how much she liked him but he never crossed that line. He did, however, enjoy dancing along that line from time to time. Stephanie fumbled with a paper clip holding together a few papers as her eyes met with Junmyeon's, "So how's the house coming along?" She asked softly. "It's going pretty well. I just need to finish the backyard, the attic, and the basement. It feels nice to be able to say that my hands are responsible for such a big accomplishment." He replied as he flexed his hands just to get inside her head. He knew how much she liked his hands. "Are those hands any good at fixing headboards? I was rearranging my bedroom and I broke one of the bedposts." She said and inched closer to him. Junmyeon eased back in his chair and pushed his hair out of his eyes, "Is this a trap to lure me into your bedroom, _boss?"_ He said softly and reached out to pull the paperclip from her fingers. Stephanie smiled and dropped her head down sheepishly to stare at the tiptoes of her royal blue pumps, "Junmyeon, don't take it the wrong way I just don't like having strangers in my house and you're my most reliable employee." She replied, "Your handy stuff works in my favor a lot. I'll make you dinner to return the favor."

Junmyeon smiled as he glanced up at her. He could almost feel her heart beating out of her chest, "Dinner? So you want me to come in the evening?" He asked. Stephanie sat down on the edge of his desk and fixed her skirt. Somehow, she made the loudness of a canary yellow suit jacket and a deep purple pencil skirt look professional. Knowing what a hot commodity her legs were, she always hiked her skirts up a little _too_ high. "It might take longer than expected so... come on, don't make me beg." She whispered. That was exactly what Junmyeon wanted her to do and he mulled it over for a few moments as she looked on eagerly. He knew where things would go if he agreed but how could he tell her no?

Against his better judgment, he nodded, "I could come by tomorrow around three." She kicked her legs like a giddy little girl and inched even closer, "I live on Wendy Drive... it's the little side street across from St. Joseph by the Sea High School. It’s the blue house at the end of the street. You can't miss it." She said and reached out to tuck his hair behind his ear. He was wondering how long it'd take her to touch him. She had a hard time keeping her hands to herself and with the way she gently ran her nails across his scalp, he was always ready for it. Like clockwork, her fingers traveled up to his scalp, "What do you like to eat?" She asked. Junmyeon fought a chill from running down his spine, "Anything." "I'll surprise you." She whispered as she pulled away. 

"Are you a fucking _dog?"_ Jongdae whispered as he crept into Junmyeon's cubicle squatting and hunched over with an odd fluidity that resembled Gollum, "All she has to do is scratch your scalp and you fall apart like a house of cards- you're a _dog_ \- _no!_ You're a _furry!"_ "Jongdae, please go back to your desk." Junmyeon sighed. "She's trying to _get_ you and you're falling for it." Jongdae stayed squatted in the corner of Junmyeon's cubicle. "I'm gonna help her, she's gonna feed me, then I'm gonna go home." Junmyeon muttered as he started listing his list of clients for the day. "She broke her bed rearranging her furniture? Sounds like _bullshit_ to me." Jongdae whispered. Junmyeon turned around to glare at him, "Would you go back to your desk, already? I'm not in the mood." "She might as well have told you she needed help with her pipes. Subtle isn't even in her vocabulary." Jongdae chuckled then crept out just the way he had come in. Junmyeon liked Jongdae but he'd never admit it. Jongdae was funny, nosy, sarcastic and made his day go by quickly. He called Junmyeon his work husband which had half the office under the impression that they were together even though he was happily married with a baby on the way. An email from Jongdae popped up Junmyeon's inbox and he opened it. 

**jondaekim@anchorfinancing.com: i'm placing bets with my wife. she actually thinks you're strong enough to resist Stephanie**

**junmyeonkim@anchorfinancing.com: you gossip about me to Victoria???**

**jongaekim@anchorfinancing.com: yes and she loves you... for some reason**

**junmyeonkim@anchorfinancing.com: what kinda bet is on the table?**

**jongdaekim@anchorfinancing: if i win then i don’t have to help with the laundry for a month**

**junmyeonkim@anchcorfinancing.com: she’s pregnant she shouldn’t have to do the laundry anyway**

**jongdaekim@anchorfinancing.com: shit you’re right. either way i lose •_•**

**junmyeonkim@anchorfinancing.com: I have work to do and so do you**

**jongdaekim@anchorfinancing.com: okay husband see you at lunch love you**

**junmyeonkim@anchorfinancing.com: love you**

Junmyeon couldn’t focus much and he spent the rest of the day mentally conditioning himself for how he was sure Stephanie would act in the privacy and comfort of her own home. “You’re gonna help her, she’s gonna feed you, then you’re gonna leave... You’re gonna help her, she’s gonna feed you, then you’re gonna _leave.”_ He repeated to himself sporadically and he felt somewhat confident that he could follow his own words.

When Junmyeon got home, the house was quiet and he assumed Jongin had gone out. He considered ordering dinner and took a quick shower as he made up his mind. After toweling off and dressing in sweats and an old t-shirt, he ordered a pizza. A loud thump from upstairs echoed through the house and Junmyeon panicked, “Jongin? You’re home?” He called out. He exited the kitchen and stood at the bottom of the stairs, “Jongin?” Jongin called out loud and shaky, “Y-yeah?” Junmyeon climbed the stairs and headed down the hall to Jongin’s room. He heard quiet shuffling and thumping around, “Are you okay?” He asked. “Yeah, I- _shit_! What’s wrong?” Jongin replied.

The door suddenly swung open and Jongin stepped out and collided with Jongin, “Goddammit. _What_?” Junmyeon frowned, “What the hell are you doing?” He asked impatiently. Jongin closed the door then quickly rushed past him then doubled back to stand between Junmyeon and his bedroom door, “I was working out.” He muttered. Junmyeon laughed, “Is Wendy in there?” Jongin laughed a bit too loudly, “Wendy? What the fuck, man.” He said as he shook his head. “You weren’t working out but whatever you were doing isn’t my business if you don’t wanna tell me but you don’t have to lie, Jongin.” Junmyeon said as he turned to go back down the stairs. Jongin followed him, “I uh... I’m sorry I just- look I can’t get into it right now.” He said as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “I get it... don’t be sorry. Like I said, you don’t have to lie. I respect your privacy- you know that. You don’t have to freak out like I’m gonna come barging into your room. I’m not your dad.” Junmyeon said as he leaned against the kitchen counter. Jongin nodded, “Old habits die hard, ya know.” He chuckled humorlessly. “I ordered a pizza. Pepperoni.” Junmyeon piped up. Jongin laughed again but this time with purpose, “Don’t make this awkward with small talk.” Junmyeon smiled, “Well what am I supposed to say?” Jongin rummaged through the refrigerator and pulled out a can of Sprite, “We gotta go grocery shopping. You’re running out of Lactaid.” He mumbled as he opened his can. “I’ll go tomorrow. I’ll be out anyway.” Junmyeon replied. The front door closed quietly and Jongin froze as he eyed the floor, “Please don’t check the window.” He pleaded. Junmyeon nodded, “I won’t.” Junmyeon knew watched Jongin leave the kitchen and he fought with the temptation to peek out the kitchen window.

Junmyeon didn’t have much luck sleeping and woke up just in time to see the morning sun begin peeking through his curtains. He could tell it was still fairly dark outside and he got up to make tea. Jongin’s antics from the night before crept back into his mind and he wished that he had just peeked out the window when the opportunity had presented itself. He had questions and he wasn’t sure how long Jongin was going to drag this all out. Jongin’s father was the aggressive and very impersonal type who believed that children owed their parents complete transparency regarding all things personal and he was bent on knowing everything about Jongin by any means necessary. Junmyeon knew that Jongin loved him to no end but part of the reason Jongin had jumped at the opportunity to leave their old life behind was ultimately to escape his father’s clutches. Jongin had promised his mother that he’d at least go to church on Easter and he kept his promise but after she passed, there was nothing left for him in Suncheon so he took what he could fit in his bags and left for America. Junmyeon found himself playing a fatherly role to Jongin pretty often but knowing firsthand how it felt to live with scars left behind from unfit parents, he was patient with him. 

Junmyeon took a hot shower and after toweling himself off, he stared at his hazy reflection in the steamy bathroom mirror, “You’re gonna help her, she’s gonna feed you, then you’re gonna leave.” He said firmly. After getting dressed, he went downstairs to the basement and retrieved his tool chest. He felt sick for obvious reasons and smiled out on breakfast. Jongin peeped his head out of the front door, “Where are you off to, Handy Manny?” He asked as he nibbled on a piece of toast and flicked the ash off his cigarette. He was officially back to smoking and Junmyeon made a mental note to leave intervention notes around the house when he got back. “My boss needs me to fix her headboard.” Junmyeon replied as he slammed the trunk closed. Jongin howled with laughter and went back inside. “Asshole.” Junmyeon muttered as he got into the car.

When Stephanie opened the front door, Junmyeon felt the air leave his lungs. “You’re early.” Stephanie said as she pushed her fingers through her messy hair. “Yeah... uh is this okay?” He asked. Stephanie’s short lavender robe hung loosely from her body and Junmyeon couldn’t tell if she was wearing clothes underneath it but he had a feeling she wasn’t. He stepped inside and kicked off his sneakers. “Oh, you don’t have to. I could just mop after you leave.” Stephanie said as she touched his arm. “No it’s fine. I would make you do this at my house. Shoes don’t belong all over the house and you shouldn’t have to clean your floors when it only takes a second just to take them off.” Junmyeon said as he looked around. Stephanie was very into minimalistic furniture. Something about her home seemed hollow and he almost felt like he was in an Ikea. “Can I get you something first?” She asked as she led him into the kitchen. “This feels like the setup to a very bad porn.” Junmyeon chuckled as he sat the tool chest down. Stephanie’s eyes met his, “I thought it was just me.” She said softly, “Did you eat breakfast?” Junmyeon shook his head, “Nope.” “Can I make you something? You shouldn’t work on an empty stomach.” She said as she stepped closer. Junmyeon shrugged, “Sure.” He said. He reminded himself of his plan as he sat down at the island counter and pressed his hands down flat in the cool marble countertop. It was helping him to stay grounded until he pictured hoisting Stephanie up on the counter. Once again, he was a victim of his thoughts but he kept his composure. 

Stephanie whipped up a spinach omelette and turkey bacon and brewed tea. Junmyeon watched her the whole time and for a moment, he imagined that she was his wife and that she was making him breakfast to get him ready for another day at work. He didn’t love Stephanie but he was lonely and some days, he wondered what it felt like to have a wife and ultimately what it felt like to love someone and for them to love him. As they ate, Stephanie chatted away about the pressure cooker she intended to return to Target. Junmyeon listened as he ate but didn’t say much. “You’re quiet today.” Stephanie said as she sat the plates and coffee cups in the sink. “I’m usually quiet.” Junmyeon shot back. Stephanie took him by the hand and led him up to her bedroom. Her post at the headboard was cracked and Junmyeon knew immediately that this wasn’t his field of expertise, “I... I can’t fix this.” He said softly. Stephanie nodded, “Oh... that sucks.” She sighed. Junmyeon stared at her and chewed at his bottom lip, “You knew I wouldn’t be able to fix this.” “Yes but I was hoping maybe with a YouTube tutorial... you could handle it.” Stephanie frowned and glanced back at the bed, “I could cheer you on.” Junmyeon followed Stephanie’s gaze and fought to stay face, “I can’t... if you call someone, I can stay until they’re finished but I can’t do this on my own.” Stephanie reached out to touch his hand, “I’d appreciate that.” She pulled her phone out of her robe pocket and sat down on her bed, “Who would I even call about this?” She asked with a sigh. “I know a place.” Junmyeon said as he sat down on Stephanie’s vanity chair, “Over in Westerliegh. Grandpa Park’s store. His nephew repairs furniture. I could call them.” Stephanie stood up and crossed the room, “You’re gonna call him right now?” She asked. Junmyeon gave her an amused smirk, “Do you want me to call him tomorrow?” He said with a chuckle. He knew what she was hinting at but he wanted to watch her beg for him. “I’m mean... yeah... you could.” She said as she sat on his lap. Junmyeon inhaled the gentle smell of lavender on her skin and circled his arms around her waist, “Admit you broke that on purpose and I’ll stay the night.” He said directly. Stephanie folded like a cheap suit, “I did. I split it with a butter knife and a hammer last night.” She said quickly. “Holy shit, Stephanie, I was just kidding but- you- what the hell- you really did that?” Junmyeon said as he took her face in his hands. “Yes, yes- look, I know it sounds crazy but I- you never touch me and I finally got you to touch me today and- please, Junmyeon, you know this is a long time coming.” Stephanie pleaded. Junmyeon’s ego trip was getting pathetic from his point of view. He kissed her and a year and a half of Junmyeon’s baiting and teasing fell past her lips with a sob, “You torture me.” She breathed.

The afternoon eased along and Junmyeon felt like leaving. He didn’t want to feel like he had used Stephanie but his social battery was once again drained and sex wasn’t recharging it. Having only slept a two other women in his entire life, Junmyeon knew for sure that sex was draining. He was emotional and it overstimulated his brain in a way that overloaded his senses. Stephanie was perfect and he wanted to stay cuddled close to her but he was touched out and he needed a shower, “Stephanie... I should go.” He said quietly. He kissed her forehead and sat up. “I thought you we’re gonna stay the night... is something wrong?” She reached out and rubbed his hand, “What’s the matter?” “I have the car and my cousin... he um... He has work in the morning and I can’t hold him up like that. I’m not sure if he’ll be able to get a ride.” Junmyeon turned back and kissed her, “Please don’t be mad at me.” Kissing her took a lot out of him but he didn’t want to hurt her. She smiled sadly, “I can make you dinner some other time- if you want.” “Of course.” He said softly and kissed her again. He wasn’t sure how else he could reassure her that he wasn’t using her but she’d made it beyond obvious that physical touch was her love language and it was the best he could do. Stephanie wrapped her arms around him and pressed a kiss into the back of his neck, “You should shower before you go. You’re skin’s kinda sticky.” She chuckled. Junmyeon laughed too. He was already wondering if he’d just made the biggest mistake of his life and if it would cost him his job in the long run.


End file.
